11 reasons you might stop reading this blog.

Warning: I'm airing my dirty laundry today. You might unsubscribe after you read it so if you like this blog, you might wanna consider skipping this post. 

You’d think I would have learned from writing this post called 5 reasons why you should stop reading this blog but here I go again. I guess I should explain myself.

While processing a challenging talk my Pastor gave on humility, I felt like God wanted me to write down 30 ways I struggle with pride. 

If you can't say amen, say ouch right?

Wish I could say it took me hours or days but really it took less than 30 minutes and I could have kept going. :( 

I honestly might never even post this. We'll see. 

Dang I hate pride. Anyways, proceed with caution. 

30 areas of pride in my life. 

1. Position. 
Always wanna rise to the top every time I'm in a new place. Feel an urge to exalt myself to those who don't know me. I struggle with being a ladder climber. 

2. Lying. 
Telling small tiny lies because I want to say what I think people want to hear... because I want to please everyone so everyone can like me.

3. I don't know. 
Struggle to say I don't know when I don't know. 

4. Talker. 
Quick to speak and slow to listen. Always have to chime in cause people need to hear what I have to say.. cause its so important. 

5. Teachability. 
Am I teachable? especially from people not in authority over me. Do I talk down to people or expect God to teach me through those who follow me? 

6. Stewardship.
By focusing on whats out there that I think I deserve, I'm not being a good steward of what God has given. 

7. My love for Jesus. 
I'm more spiritual than __. I know God more. 

8. Dad. 
I struggle to say I'm sorry to my daughter. Also think If I work hard enough, she'll turn out ok. It all depends on me. 

9. Disagree.
It bugs me when anyone disagree with me. How can anyone disagree with me? 

10. My blog. 
Constantly comparing. Why aren't more people subscribing? Why don't I get more readers? 

11. Adoption. 
Look what we've done. I get it but you obviously don't. 

[Ok. I can't keep going. Really can't. I'll leave the rest in the journal and skip to the last one]

30. This list. 
If I post this, people will think I'm so transparent and respect me more cause I'm so open. 

There's no nice bow at the end of this post. 

I honestly considered if I should ever post this cause I didn't want anyone to try to make this list seem better by saying how great I am in spite of this list.

Or how you're impressed that I shared this. 

Those things only feed my pride. 

Don't get me wrong. I know I'm forgiven and I know I have hope. 

But I also know I have a battle ahead of me. I know this pride monster will not go down without a fight. 

I hate this pride and I want to kill it. If you want to encourage me then please pray for me. 

Pray that I repent of my pride. 

Pray that my eyes are opened again to see how great God is and how tiny I am. 

Also, feel free to air our your laundry if you want.

What are some ways you struggle with pride?

-Off to battle
Sammy A