Boys to Men.

What does it mean to be a man? 

18 years ago, it was easy for me to answer that question. 

A 'man' was the guy who could belch the loudest, fart the furthest, carry the heaviest and grow the fastest facial beard. 

Unfortunately none of those things were true of me in high school. 

Saying I belched like a girl is an insult to girls who belch. I also had the muscles of a grass-hopper and I didn't shave until I was 21. 

You know what my nickname was in HS?...

"Baby-boy". 

Ouch. 

That's like an uppercut sandwiched in a head butt...with a side of 'you're gonna need some serious counseling later in life'. It was brutal. 

For years I looked in the mirror at a boy, hoping to someday see a man. Boy [no pun intended] was I so confused on what it meant to be a man.

You wanna hear what's funny though? [not ha ha funny. Ouch funny]

I'm still confused. 

'But Sammy you're 30'. 

I know I am. 

But that doesn't mean anything. 

In my opinion age can be lumped up with weight, facial-hair, thing between your legs, muscle size, depth of voice and everything else in the "doesn't necessarily make you a man" shelf. 

Right? 

I mean, how many 40 year old boys are there out there? How many college dudes are still living like children?

Tons. 

I'm not so naive to think my age makes me a man. Which is why I'm still asking the same question I asked 15 years ago pre-facial hair and a deep(er) voice. 

Am I a man yet? 

I think so.
I don't know.
That sounds weird. 

Maybe I'm not supposed to say this out loud. Maybe I'm breaking the man code.
I mean, shouldn't a man be able to say without a shadow of doubt that he is a man?

Maybe. Maybe not. 

Maybe being a man is a life long process. Like something you become more of rather than something you are forever. 

Maybe I just need to grow up and stop wishing my dad would have told me 'Hey you're a man now'. 

Or maybe the insecurities I feel are normal. 

I don't know. 

Not sure If I can define a man. But I know one when I see one.
Like my Father in law. Now there's a man. Not because he was born male but because...

He works harder than anyone I know. 
He'll do anything for his family. 
He cries [a lot]. 
He sacrifices. 
He risks. 
He has integrity and character.
He consistently gives of himself to others.

Yea, MAN. 

Isn't it funny though how you'll never see this kind of man championed on TV?

Seems our only choices are an idiot getting tangled in the curtains [think raymond of everybody loves raymond] or an idiot with a six pack [think dude from jersey shore].

No wonder we're so confused about what it means to be a man. No wonder so many of know that know what it means to go from boys to men.

My wife and I are having a baby in 5 months and since I’m 95% sure its gonna be male, I’m thinking about what it means to raise a man in today's culture. What do you think?

In your opinion, what does it mean to be a man?
Men, when did u first feel like you were now a man?

Ladies, I can't wait to hear your input on this. From your perspective, when does a boy become a man? What does it take for you to give a 'dude' the respect of a man?