Dating, Divorce, Some Mexicans and Dan from Sanctus Real Part 3

The following is part 3 of 5 emails exchanged between my friend Dan [bass player of Sanctus Real] and I over the last month. We talk dating, divorce and marriage. Please read my last blog posts for context. Enjoy.

Hey G-Dan,
Sorry for the late response. I was in Mexico last week spreading the love of Jesus, eating tacos 3X a day and having random people pet my dreads. For reals.

Would you believe me if I told you a random lady at a stop sign reached through the car window and petted my hair? True story.

Crazy how much Mexicans love them some dread-locks. Plus everyone called me Bob Marley everywhere I went. I was flattered until they made pot smoking gestures.

Anyways. Great email. Thanks for your honesty. I really appreciate it, but if its okay with you, I’d like to prod a little more because to be honest, this whole divorce thing freaks me out. Really does...

Not so much for myself but for the countless students I currently interact with. I want desperately for them to experience what you described at the end of your email...

“Marriage is a truly wonderful gift. I believe it can be (and is likely meant to be if we’re called to it) the most fulfilling part of our lives on earth. I believe it’s meant to be euphoric and exhilarating, and I believe it is meant to be painful and impossibly challenging”

But the big question I keep asking myself is what or why is their story gonna be different?

They are madly in love. So were you.
They are in a Christian relationship. So were you.
They are attracted to each other and get along. So were you.
They don’t believe in divorce. Neither did you.
They prayed about it and feel a peace about it. So did you.

I could go on and on.

The point is, seems like we all go through the same relationship track [attraction-love-marriage], but where we end up though [happily ever after or divorce] is either a crap shoot or we’re missing something.

I’m convinced its the latter. I don’t think Its enough to feel good about being in love with a Christian who doesn’t believe in divorce.

In some ways I feel like a lot of Christian relationships are like secular relationships with a gold cross chain around its neck. There’s gotta be something more. Something deeper. Something different.

What do you think? Any thoughts on what might be missing in our relationship track?

If you had a time machine and could go back and do it over again, what would you tell yourself?

Now hop back in the Delorean. 1.21 gigawatts. You’re in front of 100 young adults at the beginning of the track. What questions would you ask? What are some blind spots you’d point out that they are too in love to see?

I know that was a lot of questions.

Before you get overwhelmed, remember what it says in Hezekiah 2:15:

"He who answers many questions from his Nigerian friend earns plenty of treasures in heaven"

Yes it says that.

No it doesn’t.
There is no book of Hezekiah in the bible.

But you knew that.
Or did you?

Be honest. :)

-Sammy

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We've heard a lot of stories from broken homes and we want you to know that our hearts go out to every single story shared. Every single one. Even you 'anonymous'. We LOVED hearing from you and prayed for you.

Today we also wanna hear from those whose marriages have survived big storms. If you're married and its going great, we wanna celebrate with you so please share. This first question is for you.

Marrieds:

How long have you been married? What has made the biggest difference in your marriage still standing strong? How can we pray for your marriage? [I will actually pray for you, I promise]

Dating/Single:

What are you banking on to make the difference for your relationship? Is there something else in your 'track' besides what I outlined above?

Divorced/Separated:

If you could time-machine back to yourself pre-marriage, what would you tell yourself? What would you do differently? Any words of advice to singles?

Today's winner is @BeverleyB. Congrats. Click here for details about todays contest. You can win $20 gift-card.