four, five, SEX part 1: Boobs.

[Warning: If my title grosses you out, then please don't continue reading cause you're too young. If you're however interested, then you're old enough to dialogue although I'd HIGHLY recommend involving your parents/trusted adults in processing this with you if you're a teenager. Please ask if you don't know how]

This post is NOT ultimately about boobs. I just entitled it boobs because:

A. I wanted to get your attention.
B. If some random person googles boobs, my site will come up and they might learn about Jesus. Ha.
C. You’ve never heard a pastor say boobs out loud before.
D. I’m trying to break the ice before we talk about sex.
E. All of the above.

Now that I have your attention. Can I ask you a question?
Do you remember when you had your first sex talk?

I was 16 and the conversation lasted about 20 seconds. It went a little something like this...

Dad: So you’re 16 now huh?
Son: Ya.
Dad: So you know what that means right?
Son: Ya.
Dad: So you know what will happen if you do it?
Son: Ya.
Dad: Ok?
Son: Ya [hurries out and avoids eye contact with dad for days].

I promise you that wasn’t an exaggerated story. If anything, I undersold it.

No I wasn’t going to talk to my dad about sex. Or my mom. Or any other adult, which leaves my friends, who were just as clueless as I was.

Sure some of them were experienced [if u know what I mean] but I already knew where they stood: sex feels good so do it as much as you can.

I also knew where my youth pastor stood.

Don’t have sex before marriage. Check.
Lust/porn is not good. Check.

But is that it? Seriously, is that it?

Don’t get me wrong, I’m thankful for those warnings. In fact, listening to it served me real well.

The problem is it never gave me a vision. It only scared me and told me what NOT to do.

Of course fear could be a great motivator, but just like marriage, having kids, or anything else God created, I don’t think God wants us to approach sex motivated primarily by fear and ignorance.

There are definitely some things about sex that singles don’t need to know before marriage-or at least super close to it-cause its just not wise or appropriate.

But on the flip side, I think there’s a problem when the first real open conversation I ever had about sex was 2 weeks before I got married even though i grew up in church.

I also believe that culture shouldn’t be the only one speaking to us about sex.

Besides, sex was Gods idea and he has A LOT to say about.

So yea, we’re gonna have a sex week: 5 blogs everyday this week about sex.

Please come back all week and participate so I’m not talking to myself about sex [Awkward?]. Besides ‘dialogue’ is what will really make this effective.

I know talking about sex could be slightly awkward so feel free to leave comments under your roommates name or as ‘anonymous’. Either way, dive in. PLEASE. Don’t hold back ‘Anonymous’. Everything goes [within reason].

If you have any questions you’ve been dying to ask about sex [What is married sex like? Is it really any different than premarital sex? What about masturbation? What does God thnk if I already had sex? What if I was abused? I'm addicted, is there hope? Homosexuality? e.t.c], please send email here.

Best questions will be answered by a panel of godly older “Sexperts” later this week. I have a few Pastors who have offered to help with this. This will be taken seriously and your identity will be kept anonymous or you can create a fake address. Either way, this is YOUR chance to dialogue.

For now, I want to know...

With whom, when and what was your first sex conversation like?

Also, why do you think it's so hard to talk openly about sex in a healthy way?

Make sure you don't miss out on the conversation this week, please follow the 5 part series through the archives page. Also, be kind and share on face-book.