four, five, SEX part 4: The 30 Year Old Virgin.

When Sammy asked Sarah and I [Dave] to write an “epic” guest post from our honeymoon, I wasn’t sure if we would be able to find any spare time in between our constant love-making. 

For those readers who have experienced God’s blessing of sex (and are now laughing hysterically), I am joking. For those who haven’t yet experienced that blessing, I’m pretty sure constant love-making isn’t even physically possible.

Maybe that’s just because I am 30 and past my prime, but I doubt it.  Or maybe I need to start using Old Spice body wash?

Over the last two weeks, Sarah and I have both been impressed that there is NOTHING that compares to the joy that comes from doing things God’s way.

Sammy has already emphasized this, but it is true that God made sex and wants us to enjoy it! If we trust God that his way is right, we will enjoy sex the most when it is within the marriage relationship.

We are so thankful that we have no shame in enjoying each other physically.

Sarah and I both grew up in Christian families. We had each remained physically pure and wanted to conduct our relationship God’s way from the start. 

It may seem legalistic, but we put some rules in place to keep our relationship pure: abide by her parent’s curfew, don’t be alone in my house at any point, and we had a timetable for when we would do certain kinds of kissing (although it took some work to agree on the timetable. I’m 30, for goodness sake). 

Since we both knew where our boundaries were, I think it gave us more freedom in our relationship.  And I am so thankful that God gave me a wife who was conscious of the fact that men are visual beings and honored God with her style of dress. 

As a 30-yr-old virgin (well, not anymore, hallelujah!!), I am so glad we had those rules in place.

Sam and I met in college and, with other guys our age, used to talk wistfully about the far-off day when we would enjoy the fruits of the marriage relationship. 

I’d like to say that that’s where the wistful thinking ended, but that wasn’t the case. 

Over the years since I first started thinking about being married, my thoughts have at times been pure, not-so-pure, and downright shameful.

I cannot stress enough how important it is to guard against lustful thoughts.  Even though I had not physically had sex, I had seen things and thought things that, according to what Jesus says in Matthew 5, equate to adultery. 

Through God’s grace and forgiveness, he can heal those wounds. This is also why there is hope for those who have compromised their sexuality. 

Sarah and I recently read a book that we found very insightful, 'Sex isn’t the problem, lust' is by Josh Harris. It offers very practical, godly advice on how to battle lust. 

The fact is, we are in a constant battle. The devil wants to tear apart marriages so we have to constantly be on guard. 

Singles, do everything you can now to destroy lust in your life, because it won’t go away once you start having sex even within the bounds of marriage, where it is even more destructive. 

As an encouragement to others, how have you seen God heal you from impurity or moral failure?

What are some practical ways to guard your heart from lust?


What are some practical ways to help your girlfriend/boyfriend/fiancée/spouse guard against lust?

Please don't forget you can email personal/anonymous questions about sex and your story here. They will be answered by panel of 'sexperts' soon. Also, for email reminders of 'sex week' posts, click here.

Bonus question: In what ways are you currently struggling with lust? Its a tough question so I understand if you answer it anonymously. I'm just asking you to get it out in the light. Be honest. Please. Its a huge step to experiencing victory through Jesus. No more hiding.