Hi, my name is Sammy and I used to be a 'pretend' Pastor!

I got ordained last sunday, which is like going from being a ‘pretend’ Pastor to being a ‘real’ Pastor. Thats right folks. I’m a ‘real’ Pastor now. Things are gonna be different. Here are the top 10 adjustments I have to make or the top 10 things you may or may not know about your Pastor. Enjoy!

1. Every Pastor has a ‘spot’, ‘turf’ or ‘territory’ where they hang out on their days off which btw is mondays-saturdays. [Seriously, if your Pastor is not in his church office, there is a 99% chance he’s at some obscure coffee house or at Panera] I need a spot. But something out of the box. I’m thinking chinese buffet or the apple store.

2. Pastors get cool titles. Thinking about going with Reverend although Bishop has a good tone to it. Bishop Sammy. I like that. Sounds so official. Plus I can now sign my emails sincerely, BS. Wait... that doesn’t work.

3. Ordination is a commitment to full time ministry which in turn is a commitment to always making about 8K a year while driving a beat up donated honda with 800,000 miles on it. I’m not bitter. My treasure is in heaven.

4. I can marry people now, which is the only chance I get to charge by the hour. I’m thinking $100/hour sounds fair. Wait a minute. What? Pastors only get paid in gift cards? Shoot. Do I at least get to eat first at the reception instead of waiting 5 hrs with everyone else?

5. Pastors are called to be last and to serve in every situation... except for one. Pastors appreciation month: the only time of the year when we get ‘spoiled’. “Hey Pastor, we all got together and bought you this IPAD to say thanks... or tickets for a vacation to Hawaii with your wife” *hint *hint Zakuska.  

6. Getting ordained just moved me from the bleachers to VIP front row seats in heaven. I think it says that somewhere in Hezekiah 5.

7. Before this sunday I had creative responses when people asked me what I did for a living. "Communicator". "Speaker". "Activist". Now I get to say Pastor and watch people slowly back away...

8. Being a pastor = doomed to pray at every public event because hey I’m a Pastor and God knows no one else is allowed to pray when a Pastor is present. Somehow missed that memo.

9. Signing my emails Pastor Sammy should hopefully decrease how many people spam me cause I’m from Nigeria.

10. I get to live my dream. I know, sappy. But its true. Best job ever. Wouldn’t trade being a Pastor for anything else in the world.

Hope this made you laugh or smile at least once. If so, make me smile by subscribing to the blog. It’ll take 10 seconds and you might win an Ipod touch and sell it for $180 on E-bay which will make you smile some more. Just don’t forget to tithe 10% of the $180 cause your pastors 8k a year salary depends on it.

So, what did I miss off the list? What are some stereotypes/adjustments you think I have to live up to or make now that I’m a real Pastor?