I'm a Christian and I believe in Karma.

Actually I'm a Pastor and I believe in Karma. 

Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to create some kind of mutated two headed Christian karma religious monster.

In fact, I don’t remember ever praying the "I put my faith in Karma" Karma prayer in the back of the Karma tract.

I only prayed the ‘sinners prayer’ after some preacher guy literally scared the hell out of me at VBS.

But somewhere between then and now, Karma snuck its way into my theology and I fully bought into it.

How do I know?

Because every time something good happens to me, I expect bad. 

Just this weekend, I was telling my wife that since things have been going really well for us, I've noticed myself bracing for the worst. 

Its kind of sad actually because I can’t seem to pause enough to immerse myself in Gods blessings. 

I'm too busy playing defense because I'm convinced that there is a really small fine print of impending doom on every one of Gods blessings. 

I think a part of it is because I have a hard time believing that God wants to give me good gifts. 

But I think the deeper issue is my subconscious subscription to  'Karma'. 

If I'm good enough or do enough good then I can expect and enjoy good.
But If i'm not good enough or my bad outweighs my good, then I'm in trouble. 

Bad is coming. 

Don't get too comfortable Sammy. You know you don't deserve this. 
You know something sad is hiding in the shadows of this thing that's bringing you joy.
This can't be that good. Nothing is this good.

I know that sounds pretty unspiritual but truth is...

Its just easier to believe that I get what I deserve, which is mostly 'bad'. 

Problem is God keeps blessing me.

He keeps showering favor on my family. He won't stop.
Seriously. 
He won't stop doing more than we could ever ask or imagine. 

He won't treat me like I deserve. 

Its weird. 

So this morning, I asked him what gives. 

Why are you so good? We both know I don't deserve this.
8 years ago, maybe. But not right now.
Why are you for me even when i'm not earning my keep? 

I'm not sure if anyone else can relate to this. Maybe I'm just a weirdo. 

But just incase someone out there also sometimes finds it easier to believe in 'Karma' than grace, I want to share 3 words with you that God showed me when I asked him why he is so good to me... 

Because of Jesus. 

God shows me unmerited favor because of Jesus. 

Karma says I get what I deserve. 
Grace says I get what Jesus deserves. 

I still don't fully get it but I'm trying. 
I'm trying to accept grace even when it doesn't make sense because it doesn't make sense. 

I'm trying to believe that God wants to give me good gifts even though it sounds too good to be true because it's so good it ought to sometimes feel too good to be true. 

We deserve death but we get life. We deserve bad but we get good. Over and over again. 
Because of Jesus.

If his grace is an ocean, we're all sinking.

What about you?

Do you struggle with juggling grace and karma? Do you ever have a problem embracing Gods blessings because you’re trying to prepare for his curses?

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