Out of the picture

Last night my daughter had the mother of all meltdowns. It wasn’t anything that I was prepared for when I brought her into my home 8-1/2 months ago from Haiti.

It had been brewing for quite awhile.

At the core of it was her sense of not having control and having watched her life change dramatically all the time for all of her life. As she threw every kind of verbal assault that she could at me, I could see the pain she was experiencing finally laid out bare – and she wouldn’t let me get near her...

Then, she wanted to run – get as far away as she could and at least feel in control – totally remove herself.

She took as many pictures that she could find around our house and cut her image out, leaving a very distinct hole in every photo. That was my breaking point, and I just sobbed to think she would really didn’t want be in our family.

This is how God must feel when we get hurt, mad, or frustrated by not having control over our own lives when we surrender to His plan and decide to cut ourselves out of the picture – out of His story.

My daughter can’t see all that God has done and is doing to prepare her for her future, and her future for her. All she knows is that she has been hurt and disappointed, and she doesn’t feel like she can trust the unknown.

Sound familiar?

Has God ever taken you to a place that you feel so out of control and you have no point of reference, and you want out? You want to have a comfortable life that may not be great, but you know what to expect. And as you severe yourself from Him, He sobs – I’m sure of it.

It breaks his heart.

Our evening ended better than I would have ever anticipated. My daughter finally allowed me to just hold her tight, like a baby, and tell her how much I love her and nothing with ever change that.

I acknowledged her past, but drew her close and assured her that I will take care of her and protect her. And as I did that, she relaxed and even fell sound asleep in my lap, relieved and at peace.

God is big enough to handle our hurt, anger and frustration; but the last thing He wants us to do with it is to cut ourselves off from him. What he really wants to do is to hold us tight, give us peace and security as we relax and rest in Him.

He does have great plans for us, but until we see them happen, he has promised us a peace that is bigger than our understanding.

As I was replacing pictures throughout the house today, I thought of a song that says “I have a picture/ Wish it was a photograph/ You were holding little children/ Right there upon your lap.”

All I could see was a picture of my daughter on Jesus’ lap – safe, secure, whole and ready for all that He has for her.

So…be honest...how do you handle it when you feel hurt and disappointed by God?

When was the last time God took you to a place where you felt out of control and wanted out?

[This was a guest post by my good friend and co-worker Vonda Hogle. Vonda is one of the strongest women I know. She loves Jesus, people, has been to more countries than Anderson Cooper and is beloved by junior high kids cause she can make life-like toot sounds with a straw. She's also an incredible single mom with 3 adopted kids. You can connect with her on face-book here. She'll be moderating comments today so please dive in. Regulars, lets show Vonda some love. New-comers, fans of Vonda from around the world, welcome. Check out the most popular blog posts here. If you like what you see, please subscribe here.]