Pastors, Beer and Jesus.

Three pastors walk into a bar...

The first Pastor is only there to reach ‘sinners’ and he lets you know it by his ‘be in the world but not of the world’ t-shirt.

He thinks an ‘appletini’ is a tiny apple because he’s never had a beer. He’s a 30 year old ‘beer’ virgin. 

If you pushed him, he’d admit that the bible doesn’t explicitly forbid alcohol but the bible does command us to be wise. Its really hard to disagree with his wisdom argument after he stats you to death...

FACT: Alcohol is the leading cause of death among youth. It is also the most used and abused drug among America’s teenagers.

And oh yea, his family is filled with alcoholics, so why drink? Plus he’s never heard a story of how alcohol changed anyone’s life for the better... NOT ONE!
But he’s got a million true stories of families who have been ripped apart from alcohol.

Pastor 1 has also never met an non-Christian who thinks he lacks credibility simply because he doesn’t drink. In fact some of his party friends commend him for his conviction.

The second Pastor won’t order a drink either but unlike pastor 1, he drinks at home.

He only drinks at home because he doesn’t want to make you stumble. His middle name is ‘above reproach’.

How do you know there’s not a weaker brother around? You don’t, so why take the chance? Is the risk REALLY worth that drink?

This pastor is just gonna have wine at home. He doesn’t see a problem with this as long as his guests don’t see the case of Guinness strategically stored in the way back part of his refrigerator behind the giant gallon of milk and eggnog.

So why go through all that hoopla just to have a glass of wine?

Because there is freedom in Christ.
Because Jesus drank.
Because the bible only forbids getting drunk.
Because he’s never gotten drunk before.
Because contrary to what the church used to think, spiritual maturity does not equal not drinking, not smoking or not playing cards.

The third Pastor orders a beer like this...'What does a 'PASTOR' have to do to get some 'ALCOHOL' around here?'

He wants you to know he’s a pastor. He’s also wearing a V-neck shirt and tight pants cause he’s relevant. Not your grandma’s pastor.

Pastor 3 is quick to let you know that Jesus’s first miracle involved alcohol. Not grape juice or unfermented wine. No. Real wine at a wedding... after they run out of wine.

How does that fit into you wisdom argument Pastor 1?

Obesity is near to overtaking smoking as the No. 1 cause of death in the United States.

Does that stop you from eating food in front of your obese friends? Do you refrain from spending when you’re around greedy people?

By the way, do you really think Jesus just had a glass of water or fruit punch at all those ‘sinner’ parties he went to? Yes the bible forbids getting drunk. But alcohol can be redeemed.

If the potential or history of misuse makes us stay away from things [sex, food, money e.t.c] then, well, you get the point.

What culture needs is God-fearing, Jesus following Christians who reclaim/redeem alcohol for its good purpose by drinking responsibly [not getting drunk]. Not avoiding alcohol or doing it in secret.

Three pastors walk into a bar... be super honest...

What one do you want to be your pastor and why? 1, 2 or 3? Or do you have a 4th one I didn’t hit?
What 'camp' are you in with drinking? How should Christians approach alcohol?

I’d LOVE to hear your thoughts and as usual, if you find this relevant/interesting please support your friendly neighborhood Nigerian by sharing on face-book and twitter.